Sometimes your dick just goes rogue

I don’t know about anyone else, but before I take a piss I have a little pep talk with “little Dan”, it usually goes something like this: “Ok this is going to be a routine piss, straight into the bowl, in and out. If we do well I’ll give you a shake afterward. OK Break.” Ninety-nine percent of the time everything goes as planned, but sometimes your dick has other plans.  I’M RUNNING THIS SHIT. It wiggles left and right, pisses out of two streams, hoses down the whole toilet and other crazy shit I can talk about without a puppet and a therapist. TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT FUCKER! NOW WHO’S THE DICK?

My son, now four, had a this happen to him last week. He looked like he had hosed down a fire on the crapper. I patted his back and said “Buddy, sometimes your dick just goes rogue. Now hand me a towel.”